10 posts tagged “story”

She'd been crying all day with me right beside her the whole time. It was the first time I broke up with a girl and I really didn't know what to do. My head was telling me to be decisive and not send any confusing signals. My heart was telling me that I still loved her and that seeing her hurt was just not worth it. How do you tell a girl that things weren't working out anymore? It meant no more good night calls and no more happy surprises in the middle of the day. You would think that this was the end of the world. It was not. All it meant was that it'd been a tough day and we'd both get over it. Like we never happened at all.

We were having dinner at that Chinese place across campus. She looked classy in her coat. It was still light out but you could feel the cold seeping into restaurant. She was speaking when she picked up the tea. She looked classy doing that too.

When she talked she pitched and curled her sentences like no one else I knew. We talked about the movies, about food, about how her first boyfriend changed her life after they broke up. I liked that story. He broke her heart so she wrecked his Audi. She even said that the break up made her into a woman. Or rather, it made her want to start dressing up as a woman.

"I'm still the same person. I just look better now. Don't you think?"

I loved how she played it cool when she said that. I used to think that if I could get a girl to open up it meant that I was doing something right. The more stories she told me the more I wanted to be part of her life.

It was getting colder out but we kept talking. I didn't want to leave. Night comes early a few weeks before it turns to winter. She had to leave. We said our good byes and she walked through the maze of stairs behind the restaurant.

It's a small town, I'll see her again. I imagine then we'll have a great time again. Maybe then I'll tell her that she has the most beautiful fake green eyes I've ever seen. I had a thousand other things I'd like to say to her. I wish I knew then that months later we'd spend hours on the phone. I wish I knew then that I'd only see her again 5 years later in Jakarta. I wished I knew then that I'd miss her.

But that was in the future. When you're young it's easy to think that good things come by so easily. I wanted to thank you for giving me that lesson.

You're dead now so I don't think you're gonna mind. It was a great year for you. First there was the job offer from Santa Clara. That's like what, a 10x raise from your Penang salary? Not to mention all the cool stuff you'd be working on. You were going to move the rest of your family over to the states, start a new life, fresh beginnings and all that. Then there was the girl. You've been going after her for so long now and she finally said yes. All this was right before they called to tell you that your cancer had recurred.

You know what's tough about life? Getting blind sided like this. While all you're seeing are blue skies and bunny rabbits out of nowhere a semi comes and mows you out of the freeway. So of course you had to turn down the job offer. And while you're going through this grief the girl calls to tell you that she's leaving you for another guy.

I know you loved her and I know you tell me not to think of her this way but what type of girl would monkey swing a guy right before he dies? Bitch! I know the love hurt because you weren't even thinking about the cancer once she told you she was leaving. You were too lovelorned to even care when the doctors told you that there wasn't any point in operating because it already spread to your lungs. I couldn't forgive her but you did. Because you were that type of guy. The guy who saw things the wiser way.

The guy who saw things the funny way.

You remember that story you used to tell us about your appendicitis? You were howling with pain when they told you that you had to wait for hours before a doctor could see you. You shut up when you saw this other guy who was waiting while chewing a stack of gauze. Because all his teeth were bashed in. And that story where they had to stick a tube up your nose. Twice. Only you could tell that story.

You were always a Richard Hawkins fan but you stopped short of being an atheist because you might need some help in case the chemo didn't work. Or how about this? You had it all planned out. Once you passed away, you'd seed your best friend from high school into the next reunion.

You'd get him to ask around, "Hey do you guys remember Choen Hoe? I haven't heard from him for a while now."

"Yeah that's true, what happened to him?"

"He died!"

I laughed like hell when you told me that one. Yeah I miss you man. I miss you because I can't stop thinking of you right now. Wish the good souls were the last to go.

I remember every moment of our first kiss. It was one of those afternoons we'd start on the bed had our own lazy way of talking. Sometimes we would just look at each other and sometimes we'd just doze off. You liked to brush my hair when I wasn't looking so I moved closer.

Just a few days ago I thought a lot about us. I thought you were too young. That you didn't understand me. Worried that we were too different to ever make it work. I underestimated you. Now that I can smell you and see how cute you are with your eyes closed I know just how much in love I am with you.

I finally get close enough to give a kiss. Your eyes open to stop me.

"What are you doing?" You said.

"I'm trying to kiss you." I said.

"Why?"

I smile while you looked into my eyes. At this point of a relationship nothing is certain so every little movement is a form of communication. It's my silent way of asking, "I like you to bits so do you think we could be good together?". I'm wretchedly nervous but confident enough to try and kiss you again.

We connect this time. A kiss is her way of saying yes. Yes.

---

Do I love him? I've been thinking about that for too many nights now. You want to take me out to another fancy dinner to patch things up. I tried to dress up but I know you don't notice me. Or hate what I wear. It's been a long time since I've wanted to look nice for you anymore. I wish I could tell you to try harder, I want you to make me feel special again.

When we get there we order lamb and you pass me a slice of your meat. I still love the way you take care of me, but it gets so comfortable that I've never really felt like myself for a long time now. I don't remember a single thing we talked about until we got back home. I think you were trying to give me an easy way out.

"I've never asked you for anything in the last two years, but I'm saying I need you now. I need you now. I just need you stay with me now." You said.

"No. I can't. I can't because I don't love you anymore." I said.

And that's how I left him. No one ever taught me how to make this choice, so all I can do is play along with it and hope that sometimes I get it right.

We were running late. And we were lost. It was the middle of a cold night in Tokyo and the place we were supposed to spend the night in had strict rules about not letting guests in after 10pm. The directions they gave us were simple enough, in fact it was so simple that we didn't bother asking for specific road names.

After you get off the train station, walk down the main road for 10 minutes and you'll see a convenience store. Make a right after that, walk another 5 minutes and the hostel is on a street on the left of that road.

Its amazing how something completely obvious becomes a heap of doubt when you've lost your way. We found the convenience store but the hostel was nowhere in sight. Did we take the correct road to get here? Was this the right store? Could there be another convenience store ahead? Did we miss a store because it was closed at night? We had to carry a ton of luggage so what exactly is a 10 minute walk? What was supposed to be 15 minute stroll now dragged on for an hour as we tried to look through every single street within a 5 minute radius of the store. We weren't panicking but we were really getting desperate. We didn't even know if we were in the right area. For all the information we had it could've been 30 minutes in the other direction.

"The baggage is slowing us down. Why don't you wait around here while I check out that side? I'll be back in a minute." I said

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" She said

"Yeah I have a good feeling its nearby, once I find it I'll let them know we're coming in a bit late so they'll keep the doors open for us k. I promise it'll be fine." I said.

"K." She replied.

And then I started running through the rest of the streets we missed. I remember thinking that every street I ran through that didn't have the hostel meant that the next one was likely to have it, so that hope kept me running for the next 15 minutes. It took me that long to realize out that leaving my girlfriend in the dark, deserted street with our luggage was a really stupid idea.

Experienced long distance runners will tell you that there are only 2 things that will keep you going once your energy gets low. Hope and fear. Hope's the reason why runners find that that extra boost of power when they see the finish line. You can bet I was running like a mother fucker because of fear. I was afraid that she'd be screaming her head off by now because she was left in an alley. But mostly I was afraid that I was going to lose the one thing I loved because I was too damn stupid to know. You know when they say that you only realize what you value most when you're about to lose it? It's true.

When I got back she was calm and doe eyed, oblivious to everything I was going through. I was sweating under the coat and my legs were starting to cramp but damn she was the most beautiful sight in the world. While I was still high on the adrenalin but we hugged, and I'm pretty sure I told her that I loved her. If this was a test then I think we passed. It was the day I knew that I loved her.

I guess its fair to say that I've been thinking about her for the past 8 years. I've never let it get to me. What I couldn't stand though was that I haven't seen or talked to her since I moved to town. So it was a surprise when she called me from the opposite side of the street. God, she's still looks great. My mind froze. How do I say I-thought-I'd-never-see-you-again when she has another guy with her? I say something about furniture instead. She smiles.

"By the way this is my cousin" she says, "where are you going off to?"

I fumble.

"Going home, I've bought everything I wanted" I said.

Which is the cue that its the end of the conversation. So she starts walking away.

"Ok, bye then." She says.

Shit that's not what I wanted. I start away walking too or I'd look like an idiot. I didn't even get a chance to say that she looked good.

I like to buy things whenever I get nervous, which is probably how I ended up with a black hole-puncher and a can of luncheon meat half an hour later. This was getting silly. Why am I walking around Tesco when I already knew what I wanted? I wanted to see more of her and there was I already had a chance to do that.

So I called her to tell her that I had nothing to do (true) because my friend just cancelled his appointment (lie). I'd love to see you (true). How about some dessert?

I had a good day after that.

As told by Wan Ching

When I was younger my mum and I used to take the ferry pretty often and I was always curious about the bubbles that came out from the back. You know, because of the propellers?

"What would happen if I fell down there?" I asked my mum.

"You'd die lor." She answered.

You can imagine how this answer would affect a 5 year old kid. I started swimming pretty soon after that. After years of training, I grew wiser and I was pretty sure I wouldn't drown if I fell off a ferry anymore. I'd die by getting caught in the propellers instead. My mum was right after all.

She's sitting on the hood of the car. Looking good as usual. I've always liked her in these moods.

"I'm SOOOOOORY!" She shouts to a guy who's walking pass us. He's not really sure if this is a threat.

"Do you forgive me?" He walks away from us, faster.

"DO YOU?"

"....yes?" And he's out of sight.

I'm smiling a lot while this goes on. I found her this way, a burst of energy. But like I said I love it when she's like that.

By a happy coincidence I happened to find myself on the same dinner table with my ex, along with a few good friends. That's when two other friends P and H called:

P: "Aren't we supposed dinner together?"   
Me: "My bad, I'm already eating at Nando's. You're free to join us though."   
P: "Na, we don't want to intrude, who are you with?"   
Me: "Just 2 guys from Intel and my ex--"   
P: "--We'll be right there!"   

They took an hour to get there though and the ex left right before they got to the restaurant.

H: "Why didn't you ask her to stay?"   
Me: "Well I did ask her to stay once right before we broke up and she said no. If she said no to me again I think I'd have to kill myself."  

Awkward silence

P: "If I called her phone right now and asked her to come back, would you still have to kill yourself?"   

And that's exactly what he did.